Monday, February 4, 2008

40 Days of Blessing



Today I started a 40 day fast. A lot of people take these next 40 days (approx) before Easter to fast from something to get their heart ready for the death, burial, and resurecction of our Risen Savior.
I am fasting Sweet Tea. Yes, I capitalized it because it is something of great importance to me. I really think I am a Southern immigrant, somehow. I love to say Y'all, call my children darling, Love big hair. And sweet tea.
I usually fix a pitcher of sweet tea around 3:00 in the afternoon. ( I don't drink the whole pitcher by myself) It helps me get through the mid-day coma that tries to take over my body. And if I am going to be honest it just makes me happy. I look forward to it and tell myself "3:00 is coming, you can make it!!" and sure enough when the microwave dings.....because I like brewed Sweet Tea.....my heart skips a beat and I feel like the Heavenly hosts have come down and blessed my cup!
But as of today I am forgoing my afternoon cup of Sweet Tea. For one thing, after watching the Biggest Loser last week and they poured out the ginormous drum of sugar showing how much sugar we consume in a year, it made my tummy hurt. I do not drink soda but I like my tea pretty sweet. So besides it being full of sugary goodness, it is a lot of empty calories that add up. And I am trying to be more healthy and need to fit into last years spring wardrobe!

But mostly the reason why I feel so compelled to give up my Southern Sweetness is because I desire God to bigger in my life than anything else. I need God to be cup of goodness because His cup of goodness doesn't run empty. It doesn't only satisfy for the afternnon, it is a continual filling.

And to be honest, once again, I desperately need it.

For the last couple of months it has been very difficult raising a middle-school, teenage son. He is our first-born, and bless his heart we are all learning this together but the metamorphosis that has been going on in this precious life is strenuous. Gut wrenching. Heart breaking. Our amazing Father has big plans for this boy. I know that, my husband knows that, the people who know and love our first-born know it but somehow my first born isn't believing it. And that breaks my heart.

This weekend was probably the toughest one, yet. I have been assured by my "spiritual" mother that there will be more to come. (At that declaration I almost ran to my kitchen and pulled out my tea pitcher and made me a gallon of the sweetest tea.) I knew I needed Jesus way more than I need a glass of tea.

Today as I sat down to my quiet time this is what the Lord declared over my family.
That He will fight for us. "You need only to be calm; the Lord will fight for you." Ex. 14:14 Now I am not kidding when I tell you that I laughed out loud when I read those words. Be Calm. This is my translation " Stephanie, DO NOT FREAK OUT!" How I needed to be reminded that Jesus IS fighting for us. The enemy has snuck into our lives in an area that I just wasn't prepared for. He plays tricky and decieves. He hits us when we are down and mocks us when we are already hurting. But instead of freaking out, God has commanded me to be calm. I needed that.

I have begged God to step into my first-born's heart and be bigger than the world that is beckoning him. I am believing God for the promises that he whispereed to a young mom's heart so many years ago. This is a confirmation straight from His Word. "Also, I will teach you to respect me completely, and I will put a new way of thinking inside you. I will take out of the stubborn hearts of stone fom your bodies, and I will give you obedient hearts of flesh. I will put my spirit inside you and help you live by rules and carefully obey my laws. Ezekiel 36:26-27" How truly grateful I am for Gods Word. An alive and presently active word. That has brought me way more comfort and refreshment than the best-tasting glass of sweet tea ever could.

So, as I start to wrap-up my very first day of me sweet-tea fast, I am filled with an endurance that has come from a renwed spirit and heart. There are 39 more to go. I will probably really crave a good, warm glass of sweet-tea. It will be hard after our wednesday Bible study when I go to lunch to forgo my usual pick-me-up. I may find myself in a mid-day coma and wake up from it when my little boys ring the doorbell to announce they are home from school and my day as only really just begun. But in all of that I am thristing for God to do a work in my oldest son's heart. To fight for him. To fight for this family. To trust the Shepherd.

He tends Hisflocks like a shepherd; He gatehrs the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those who have middle school children. Isaiah 40:11

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