Real Life ( real long)

We started our new fall Bible Study in September. I have been a part of Wednesday morning Bible Study since Tanner was a new baby. I was a young mom. A young wife. A new Christian. The invitation was readily accepted for two reasons. To study the Bible. And friends. The companionship that was offered in those days blessed my heart as much as the Word tendered it. I will never forget walking into that house feeling like I was wearing a Scarlet A on my shirt. Not because I was an adulteress but because it wouldn't take long to realize my age and the age of my children to realize how young I was when Taylor was born. (Just FYI, I was 19) I was accepted and loved truly like never before. And those sweet girls are still some of dearest friends.
So fast forward 12 years. A lot has changed. Our group has divided to serve in other areas. New girls have joined. Others left. The location has changed as much as my hair style! And one thing that continues to thrill my heart, we have added numerous children to the Wednesday morning bunch. I added two more, myself!
I have had the honor and privilege of leading for quite some time. Even though we moved quite a distance, God has continued to ask me to serve in this format. And I absolutely love being a part of it.
I knew God was doing something unique when things started getting stirred up this Summer. We added a worship team and live praise music. The location changed from a home to our Student Life Center. A new group of women began coming that blessed me more than I could have dreamed of.
But let me be honest. I was also scared to death. I have never taught in this big of a group before. The format was so different that I was afraid that it wouldn't hold their attention. And there have been a couple of times that I have said aloud "would the real teacher please come forward" only to feel the gentle nudge from the Lord pushing me to the front of the room.
That first day we all looked so pretty and put together. We still had a summer glow about us and a new excitement flowed around the room. It was not unlike the first day of school after summer break. The giddiness. The excitement.
Then the routine sets in.
And real life takes over. The smiles become a little more strained. The sun tan has faded. The giddiness is swallowed back with tears. Before you know it hurt is everywhere.
Marriages.
Children.
Jobs.
Health.
Finances.
So, it came as no surprise really that God had laid it on my heart for us to do "Believing God" by Beth Moore. Some of us had already done this study. But that didn't matter. What I felt God speak into my spirit was "give me one year to teach you, so that that you can live the rest of your life BELIEVING me." I knew from the beginning that this was going to be more than another bible study. This was intended to be a LIFESTYLE.
This Wednesday we will wrap up our third week. The title of this week is "God can do what He says He can do." Believing that God has not ceased in performing miracles.
I know God is still in the miracle business. I have witnessed one with my very eyes. Touched it with my own hands. Myer Massey is a true miracle. Touched by the hand of the Healer. A sentence of death from a well respected physician was trumped with the proclamation of life by the One who sits on the Throne.
And then there is Mary. A sweet, young mom with a 20 month old dying from Tay Sachs disease. I had the privilege of spending the afternoon with her and Isaiah today. This precious family has been prayed for and loved on from the Body of Christ that resembled the same outpouring that the Massey family received. There have been fasting and anointing. Lamenting and Praising. But as it looks today, God's miracle will be taking Isaiah to his eternal Home. Not the miracle we asked for. But a miracle just the same.
Last week I felt so compelled to teach Psalm 103:1-5. In fact I scrapped the lesson that was planned at 9:00 the night before. I cannot explain the feeling I had except uneasiness to do anything else.
Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Let me tell you, I have never taught on anything so hard before. As I looked out in those sea of faces and proclaimed "heals all your diseases" when in that very room there is a little boy that has not been physically healed.....yet. Learning to believe Him truly, you have to believe that little Isaiah will be healed. Either here on earth or in in Heaven. That it is God's sovereign decision on just what that will look like. As I struggled with putting the lesson together I felt the Lord whisper to my spirit "don't try and explain me. You do not understand my ways. Don't try. You will only be deceived if you do."
The day ended with a sweet fundraiser to honor Mary and her family. We got to laugh and pray and eat.
But because my heart beats "mom" there is an undeniable ache for this young mom who holds her baby boy tonight. Trying her best to savor and remember every moment. To store in a special place in her heart things that only a mother could treasure.
If you have read this far I will ask for prayers for the Cairns family. Matt, Mary, Ethan, and little Isaiah. Prayers for strength, wisdom, endurance, and peace.