We started out Tatumn birthday with a manicure and pedicure! This time she sat by herself in the chair and looked every bit of three. I had to suck in a sob that was welling up in my throat. The ladies just loved on her; which did my heart so good. Tatumn ate up every ounce of attention and even showed some personality! In fact, later that weekend I ran into someone who was at the salon that morning and recognized us. She told us that watching Tatumn that morning was a blessing to her because she just found out that she is having a girl! And cannot wait to do that with her daughter! How sweet is that. I stopped myself from telling her my story, from the wait to almost losing the reality of holding her, to being a girly girl with three (amazing) boys at the house, and on and on! Instead, I just smiled and said "Thank you!"
Tatumn really is a blast. I know that may sound crazy but boiled down that just describes the time I am having being HER mom. She loves to me to pieces and I cannot put into words what that does to my heart.
The Father has really been so tender to me the last couple of weeks concerning her actual birth and the spaces in her life story that are blank. In ways that only He can do, He has tenderly cared for my heart and the ache that lies there. He has shown me that He's always been there. And in His graciousness (is that a word) He deliver some very meaningful mementos to us in China. Things that I would have not dared to ask for. Things that I thought were just too much, like a birthnote from her biological parents. Her clothes that she was found in. A newborn picture.
And just yesterday as I was getting Taylor's birth certificate out of our safe, I came across something that I had not noticed before. It was a medical chart and summary of Tatumn's (Jun De) first day of life. She was brought to the orphanage on her very first day of life and they did the examine that day. SO, as I was looking over it I realized I know how much she weighed, how long she was, what her skin looked like, and how she acted! I could not believe I had missed it before. Of course, some of it is in Chinese but I think I was so excited to know what she like at that moment, I skimmed throughout he first part. Actually, I believe God allowed me the privilege to see that page in a new way. And in doing that a piece of my heart was mended. And for that I will be forever grateful.
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