Sunday, June 1, 2008

Good Bye 5th Grade

Tanner finishes elementary school on Tuesday. It is a half-day. So, tomorrow is his last full day at English Landing. Everything about tomorrow will be typically the same. Ride the bus, morning duties, special class, lunch, recess, afternoon activities, end of the day, ride the bus home.
But something about tomorrow has caused me look at it with a different perspective. It has caused me to shed some tears and humbly ask for forgiveness.
You see, tomorrow is the last day Tanner will take his lunch to school. It is the last time I will pack his red Gap lunchbox with a turkey sandwich with spicey mustard, barbeque chips, a dessert, and a juice box. It has been the same lunch menu pretty much all through his elemntary school days. A couple of times we have thrown in carrots and ranch, used regular mustard instead of spicey, maybe even Doritos replaced the barbeque. But for the most part this has been Tanner's lunch. He doesn't like change.
The forgiveness part comes from the early years of not giving it my all. For rushing through it, forgetting things, having a bad attitude about having to pack a lunch. When I think back to some of those days, I am embarrassed at the (dumb) young mother I was. Rushing so fast through the morning and frazzeled because of my selfiushness. Oh Father, I am so sorry.
I wish I would have known then how fast the boys would grow up. That one day I wouldn't have a house full of boys under the age of 6. I would have wrote more notes on napkins. I would have made sure I always had spicey mustard becuase Tanner preferred it. I will even go as far to say I wish I would have made homemade desserts more.
Because tomorrow is the last day Tanner's lunchbox will be thrown on the counter next to Tucker's ready to be filled. The last day I will get 2 juice boxes out of the fridge, make 2 turkey sandwhiches, one with spicey mustard the other plain.
But this time, Tanner's will have a note. Just a small one because as he puts it "reading notes from me makes him miss me more during the day." I want him to know that I will sure miss making his lunch next year when he is Middle School.
Middle School?! I can barely believe it. But I am so proud of that accomplishment that I could scream! And cry! And scream some more!
This boy has truly overcome some big obstacles in learning to get to this palce. He has learned to work HARD. He has persevered like a Champ.
Tuesday will be the last day that Tanner and Tucker will be in the same school until High School. Tanner will be a Senior and Tucker will be a Freshman. I really don't want to think about that right now. I am completely emtional enough as it is! These boys are buddies. I will miss watching them scooter in the driveway until the bus comes. Watching Tanner make sure Tucker has his inhaler with him. Knowing that if one were to need the other, they were right down the hall. Especially miss watching them both run up to the house together from the bus.
But most of all that the red Gap lunchbox will be put in the pantry.
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8 comments:

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

I AM that "rushing so fast through the morning and frazzled because of my selfishness" mom right now...God was convicting me this morning, and then I read THIS post and wept.

I needed this more than you'll ever know, THANK YOU!

PS - I'm gonna link to it in my post today...

Sarah M. said...

I am glad Sarah linked us to you! Your perspective is uplifting! Seeing Tantum deepens the burden I carry to add to our bunch from the East.

Sarah M. said...

Sorry I didn't spell her name right!

Beth@playinwiththepaulsens! said...

WOW! Sarah suggested klennex but I thought since I was eating that the tears would some how be easier to fight back!
This post is beautiful and it expresses so much of what I feel as my 4th grader is finishing his last day at elementary school today!
WHEW!
I am SOOO adding you to my google reader! Thanks for sharing!
I am, by the way, a friend of Sarah, and mother of two (well, sort of three...if you read about my husband you will get why I hesitate to say two) boys.

Lindsay said...

Great blog!! I am visiting from Sarah's blog & I will be back :)

Your children are beautiful and the wisdom you share as you raise them is awesome!! I love the posts with the words from the benches. They will treasure those forever!

Blessings - Lindsay

Wendi@EveryDayMiracles said...

Found your blog by way of Sarah's. I am a friend of hers and so glad she shared your link. What a precious mommy heart you have. As a mommy of 3 boys under 5 and a new wee one only 7 weeks in the making :) I do know frazzled...and selfish...and exhausted. I know I am blessed beyond measure, but it seems to be so easy to lose sight of that on the crazy days. Thank you for the wonderful reminders.
God bless!!

Jackie said...

What a beautiful story. You have inspired me to sit with my baby girl a little longer, read her an extra book or two, give her an extra hug and kiss today. Thank you.

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

I found your blog from Life in the Parsonage and am so glad Sarah shared your link with us. They do grow so fast. Thank you for your words of wisdom. But let go of that guilt so you can enjoy the next years. :-) Hope I don't sound too bossy. I had guilt issues for years. Blessings to you. Angela