Birthmother day

Today in China there is a lady I have never seen with my eyes or spoken a word to but she has captivated my thoughts and my imagination.

Today, I can not get her out of my heart. And I don't want too.

Today like so many days before I have thanked God for this woman. A woman who carried my daughter in her womb, chose life, and did the hardest thing I could ever imagine. I am left with words that fall flat but an overflowing of gratitude in my heart for this precious woman.

Today I have once again approached the throne of Grace and have asked Him again to "get her". That she would be one in a nation of unbelievers who would find Him. I believe that God can get to her people, her province, her birth family. I sat in a church in Guangzhou and heard from the people of China who love Jesus and are going through their country proclaiming Christ as Lord.

Today I get to hold my daughter who has almond eyes and raven black hair and shower her with kisses. I get to hear her giggle, watch her play, see her run, tuck her in for her nap, put her hair up in piggy-tails. And simply love her.

Today she doesn't realize that she grew in another mommy's tummy. But in my heart. She hasn't asked any hard questions, yet. I pray that I am ready when she does.

Today I know God's plan is Best. That His design of adoption speaks of Christ to me. But today, I really do wish she was bone of bone and flesh of my flesh. I would have treasured feeling her kick in my womb, loved to have held her newborn body. The months that separated our first meeting would have been erased. But it was not to be. And truly, I am okay.

Today I am walking in the victory that God gave us that steamy day in Changsha,China. A frightened, tiny, bald baby girl was placed in our arms and completed our family.

Today, I once again shed a tear for Tatumn's Chinese mommy. It is filled with love and hurt, tenderness and support, and a longing to one day thank her. Oh, Jesus, please get her.